Jim's Place

Lacing up the gloves...

Happy Friday, gang! Hope you've got a nice weekend planned. I've been enjoying a day off from doctor appointments. I so appreciate your outpouring of support in response to my posts yesterday. There weren't actually any new developments on the medical front, but it's the first time any doctor has said my melanoma was at Stage 4. But that was the case even before the brain surgery in April. Still, it is quite alarming to hear that. The main revelation from yesterday's appointment was the clarification of the purpose of each proposed cancer treatment and the realization that I would need more than just radiation to the brain and leg - possibly chemotherapy.

I appreciate the concern for my mental and emotional well-being in light of the seriousness of all of this, but I'm still my usual happy-camper self. Most of that is due to my faith in God, but also because after so many years of dealing with chronic illness, I've come to terms with the possibility that my health issues could take a sudden downturn and my time on Earth would be quickly coming to an end...

But that's a reality everyone faces - from a car accident to a Texas tornado, there's no guarantee that any of us will be here tomorrow. Of course, I have serious concerns about coping with a life-threatening disease that I'm repeatedly told is incurable, but I just refuse to pay any more of an emotional and mental price than I'm forced to. Just as I have since I was a kid, the first thing I'm going to ask myself when I wake up is "How can I make the most of today?"

Rather than define this battle with cancer as a burden, I view it as a challenge. Rather than be consumed with worry and fear, I'm driven by faith and determination. But as confident as I feel, I'm still approaching this with respectful humility, never forgetting that so many have fought similar battles with incredible courage and determination - but yet they didn't survive...

Of course, I wish I could just get on with life and not have to deal with this, but I still believe that God has a purpose for all of the long-suffering... that it is far too early to write my memoirs or begin formulating a eulogy... I'm ready to step back into the ring - and I don't plan on just making a token appearance. If necessary, I'll hang on the ropes a bit, but then I'm coming out swinging. I'm in it to win it. And God willing, I most definitely will!

The Magic of Christmas

Well, as has been so common of late, I woke up feeling awfully sick. But yet, I still have my joy... I still have a song in my heart... How can that be, Jimbo?! No doubt, I'm disappointed that I wasn't well enough to be in Texas to spend Christmas with my family...and being so sick certainly gets old! But, I'm okay... To still have my spark and enthusiasm for life when I feel like this is not only a Christmas miracle, but an everyday miracle.

Yes, I still feel the hurts, the pains, the frustrations and overwhelm that are inevitable when you're sick 24/7. This time of year, I especially feel that churning... ("Another year alone? Come on, Jim, you've got to find someone to share your life with!") But yet, I've still got my child-like heart and an excitement for those things I can still do...not that far away from that kid of so long okay who couldn't wait to open his big present sitting under the Christmas tree...

This year in particular the Holy Spirit stands out as being the best gift this kid has ever received... My body may be sick, but my spirit is well. I see so many people bitter, angry and just downright unhappy. More often than not, it's clear to me that the biggest cause of their misery is a profound spiritual void. My heart goes out to them. I've been down that road. Even though I was a Christian in my beliefs, there was still something missing and I just couldn't put my finger on it...

That something was the joy of the Holy Spirit. I've come to believe that having the Holy Spirit in your heart is a basic human need. If it's not there, you're going to hurt. And it's a painful void that even the best things the world has to offer will provide no more than a promising distraction. My prayer, is that everyone I know receives this same life-changing and even life-sustaining gift. I think I'm pretty darn good with my perspective, coping skills and determination, but frankly I just don't know how I could have come through such a marathon of adversity without the profound presence, strength and joy of the Holy Spirit.

As I'm sure you have surmised, my Christmas is going to be special after all. I'd sure like to feel better and I'm praying my new docs can figure out what the heck is going on, but in the meantime, I'm going to make the most of the magic of Christmas. I felt that magic as a young child and at the age of 60, it's still there... but not because of a brightly-colored package with a big bow, but because of a baby in a manger long ago. An innocent child, the Son of God, sent to save the world. I celebrate Christmas to honor the birth of Jesus, but also to celebrate that He still saves me every day of every year... Yeah, I guess I'm pretty lucky, because I get to open my Christmas "present" every single day of the year... :)

A Christian nation?

I think even an amateur historian would find indisputable evidence that America was founded on Christian and Biblical principles. A truly tolerant non-believer would accept that reality and not raise hell about the various Christian symbols, traditions and influences that are ingrained throughout the American system of governance.

To remove all vestiges of Christianity from the state would rip the heart out of what has made America the most enduring and shining opportunity for freedom, liberty and prosperity in human history. Instead of the utopia that atheists suggest it would create, the truth is that it would be hell for everyone - even those who don't believe in heaven or hell.

"Mind, body, green!"

On the surface, the concepts behind terms such as mind-body-green, raw food, natural living, holistic medicine, organic, non-gmo, etc. seem like nothing more than ideas that promote a healthy body. I certainly agree with the common-sense advice to eat wholesome food, exercise, etc. but I often see a very disturbing agenda behind such innocent façades...

In essence, the influence of so many "natural living" websites and magazines is antithetical to the Christian faith. Interspersed with solid and long-proven principles of nutrition and health there are often a conglomeration of pseudoscience, mysticism and downright-but-popular lies. There's an emphasis on a metaphysical approach, where anything Eastern is good and anything Western is bad. Commonly, there's often a paranoid conspiracy-theory slant on food, medicine, the pharmacy industry, etc.

Although, spiritual health is usually touted as an important aspect of wellness, you'll never hear a mention of the Holy Spirit. You'll see many quotes from Buddha, Ghandi, psychologists, etc. but not from Billy Graham or any other Christian leader. In the guise of promoting a healthy planet, you'll find numerous articles about saving the planet, but nothing about saving a soul. And it's quite illuminating how any mention of political/cultural issues usually tows the liberal line.

The idea of healing yourself with food, herbs, mindset, affirmations, etc. promotes the idea that you don't really have to trust in anything other than yourself. It makes it easier to believe that you possess all the "divinity" needed to be healthy and whole. Again, I'm a big fan of positive thinking and doing my part to address my health issues, but there's just no substitute for faith in God. And I'm talking about the God of the Bible, not the generic build-your-own-higher-power-however-you-want "God". Even though the authors might not be attacking Christianity directly, they never present it as an important component of a healthy life. Buddhism, Hinduism, or just about any New Age spiritual perspective get tons of attention, but the God of the Bible? Not a word...

I don't get the impression that this bias by omission and/or favor of other spiritual perspectives/faith is typically driven by malicious intent. My guess is that most of the "natural living" proponents just simply don't consider Christ or the Bible as anything important to healthy living. But from what I've seen, even the most avid follower of the suggested advice of these Eastern-influenced healthy living gurus, is clearly not healthy spiritually, when they don't live their lives with the Holy Spirit as the driving component of their daily regimen.

And I often see even devout Christians being drawn into this insidious attempt by the enemy to use such appealing (but deceptive and untruthful) concepts to promote the nutritional equivalent of the New Age movement. At best, it pulls a believer into a place where they're providing validation and support of an environment that is counter to a faith in God...and at worst, to give the enemy a foothold to attack your beliefs and to become complicit in supporting the lies of the enemy...

"You could learn a lot from a dummy!"

I don't think there is any way people can fully realize how profound of a test my coping skills face each day. Now don't go feeling sorry for me because I'm very blessed and grateful! But there's no doubt that I often feel like a crash test dummy! My life in recent years has been, in effect, a proving ground for how to still be a happy camper during constant adversity.

Funny, how so many of the popular feel-good perspectives in the "positive thinking" arena break down under such trying conditions. And even the most highly-touted beliefs of the New Age gurus don't soothe the soul when you're dealing with the gut-wrenching hurts and feelings of loss that come from dealing with a debilitating illness day-after-day.

While so much of widely-adopted worldly wisdom would collapse under such strain, my faith in God has stood firmly and has even been greatly strengthened. The scriptures, teachings and principles of Christianity that the world constantly mocks and treats as outdated and irrelevant, continue to prove to me that they are the key reason that I can start each day with joy in my heart - no matter what... :)

Day 2 on the magic pills...

Hey, hey, hey! It's Happy Saturday! I hope you're as giddy as I am! Geez, Jim! Did somebody slip you a bottle of happy pills?! Why yes! Yes, they did! Hi guys! This is day 2 on the new medication and I'm really jazzed with what appears to be a major breakthrough in my health - and thus my life. Usually, I wake up with a significant level of sickness, but today I hopped out of bed and there just wasn't that heavy burden on the body that I've been so used to starting my day with. I've been kicking back all afternoon and son-of-gun, it's obvious that this is a whole new ballgame! I know it's early in the treatment, but I just can't help but thinking that this is the answer I've been praying for...

A big surprise is that after only 6 hours of sleep last night, my body was ready to jump out of bed and start the day! I assume that's related to the new medication. Holy smokes, I usually need a minimum of 8-10 hours and often 12! We'll see how this plays out, but I'm so excited about what this might mean... More than ever, I truly believe that God STILL has big plans for my life... :)

Reboot!

Happy Thursday guys! It's a rainy evening in San Diego - the first rain, or actually more of a drizzle, in some time. That might be why I'm off to a much later start than expected. My body usually takes a hit from the first rain - another one of those autoimmune triggers. Seems strange to me, but it consistently happens, so I guess it really works that way.

Funny, but I'm kind of like a Windows PC - you never know when it's going to crash! And when you get that blue screen of death, it's often just more practical to reboot than try to debug what the heck just happened although I have had some great success "debugging" my medical stuff over the last 25 years. Every major issue - the thyroid, pituitary, sleep apnea and Celiac(gluten-intolerance) disorders were figured out by me, without any assistance from any doctor. Talk about using my systems analysis skills!

So I'll keep "rebooting" when needed, but I'm still determined to debug what's currently going on and see if I can get a "patch"! Frankly, it all just seems unbelievable...with all the twists and turns my health has been through in the last 25 years. In a sense, I have every "right" to be depressed, discouraged, angry and bitter...and no longer dare to dream... But here I am... and I'm okay... All I can say is "Shazam! Thank you, Lord!" Ok, time to head to the gym! Keep on truckin' gang! :)

My "Secret"...

Happy Thursday gang! This week is really rolling along, ain't it?! Slow start for me today. I haven't felt so hot, kind of like a cold, but my guess is it's more of an allergy thing. But I think I've made good use of my couch time. I've been listening to my old Tony Robbins Personal Power CDs while reorganizing may computer disks to free up some space.

I'm not a fan of most personal growth programs because they basically leave God out of the equation. But Tony's program is kind of like the Body-for-LIFE of personal improvement programs - it just works, using proven fundamentals. So much of the New Age stuff out nowadays treats God as more of a cosmic entity instead of the God of the Bible. A common theme is that in essence YOU are divine, the master of your destiny and all you have to do is think and act in a certain way to "attract" whatever you desire... Frankly, I think a key motive of the New Age/New Thought movement is to pull people away from Christianity.

Personally, I'm gonna continue to resist the popular New Age approaches to "self-improvement". Lord knows I explored a gazillion of them! I'm just gonna stick to what I know works - do my best and trust God (yes, the one in the Bible!) to do the rest. As far as I'm concerned, that's the real "secret"...  ;)

A man with a plan...

Happy Thursday gang! Hope your week has been going well. I'm having one of those "Plan B" days, where I've had to adapt to what my body gives me to work with. I've been doing better with the sleep cycle, gradually getting to bed earlier and consequently waking up earlier. My plan for today was to fly my glider in the morning, get allergy shots in the afternoon and then head to the gym. But I needed several more hours sleep than expected and I'm just now really starting my day...

Funny how lately I've been telling myself I really want to step it up for 2014 - to better address areas of my life that have been on the back burner. I have a book to write, a condo that desperately needs some maintenance, tax issues that are pressing... I want to see if I can make money - with my photography or even using my long dormant computer skills. And I just don't want to continue to be alone. I think I do a pretty good job of flying solo, but I've been on my own long enough! Geez!

But all that stuff just feels so overwhelming right now. If I can get in a workout, run an errand or two and have a little fun on Facebook, that usually constitutes a full day for me. How in the world can I tackle all this other stuff?! Frankly, I don't have the answer... As long as illness dominates my body, it's simply going to be a struggle to do the simple things. And I'm just grateful to be doing as well as I have been!

However, I still believe that God has a bigger vision for my life than what I can see on a day like today. My job is not to fret, but rather to do my best with what I have to work with and trust God to provide whatever energy, strength, healing, resources and guidance necessary for me to live the life He has planned for me. Funny, but after thinking about that, I don't feel so overwhelmed after all... :)

My self-help awakening...

Back when I was in college, I was fascinated with my psychology and sociology courses. For many years afterwards, I read self-help books and worked hard to come to terms with my childhood wounds. I made a lot of progress, but it still felt like it was more of a skilled effort to manage an affliction than an approach that could bring true healing.

When I went through my divorce in 1993, I learned what the missing piece was... Those deep wounds and hurts aren't just mental and emotional issues, but spiritual hurts as well. Psychology, therapy, etc. can greatly help you understand why you do the things you do and what you can do to better cope with your issues and live a better life - but they can't treat spiritual wounds...

I had been a Christian most of my life, but my faith had mostly been at arms length - but during that painful time I learned that a broken heart could be fertile ground for the Holy Spirit... Through Christ-centered counseling and support, I slowly began to experience a strength, joy and peace I had never known. I then realized just how much of a spiritual void I had been living with...and why all those self-help programs had come up short...

I hope my experience might help you. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of solid programs such as those from Tony Robbins, but if you try to address a spiritual issue with a worldly solution, you haven't got a prayer... (Nyuk Nyuk!) :)