Jim's Place

"Put me in coach!"

With a chronic fatigue condition, you can't use the usual approaches to exercise. Typically, with normal health, you don't work out when you feel sick. Common sense says you just wait until you're feeling better. Sounds reasonable!

But what if you are always sick? Day in, day out, year after year? Do you just forget about being an athlete again? Do you just settle for being fat and out-of-shape? Do you just accept the conventional wisdom that suggests your days as an athlete are over? And even if you manage to get in a workout here and there, can you ever expect to achieve a high level of fitness again? Especially considering that with a chronic illness, serious setbacks are almost inevitable and are very likely to occur quite frequently. Why set yourself up for all of that frustration? No one would blame you if you just parked it on the couch and took it easy... Time to just sit in the stands and enjoy being a spectator...

For the last 15+ years, the harsh reality has been that if I'm going to exercise at all, I'm going to have to push through a significant level of illness and/or fatigue. The question isn't if I'm sick, but rather if it's at a "workable" level. Sometimes, it's mild, but often it's at a profound level, with my body screaming "No way!" It's been a careful balancing act, using mostly instinct to determine how much I can get away with pushing against what my body is telling me. Fortunately, those same instincts that had so many times pushed me to work out when it seemed impossible were screaming this time "Don't do it!" They were right. It could have been dangerous with such low thyroid levels.

I'm sure to some people, constantly fighting the odds to pursue a high level of fitness, while dealing with an overwhelming and erratic chronic illness, seems rather futile and just adds undue stress to an already chaotic situation. Granted, sometimes it does seem like I'm trapped in a perpetual Whack-A-Mole arcade game at Chuck E. Cheese - and every time I pop up - make a big comeback - that same angry kid smashes me with the mallet yet again! I keep thinking this bully will give it a rest, but he just seems to have an endless supply of tokens...

Friday I added fibromyalgia to my medical "portfolio" and today I learned that I have a severely low thyroid level. Although I have a low thyroid disorder - hypothyroidism - I've had it monitored frequently and take my medication every day. But the TSH result of 42 means my levels were extremely low. That explains why I've been so sick, but I still have no idea what caused such a dramatic change in my thyroid condition. Anyway, I start on new meds tomorrow to address these issues and I'm looking forward to yet another big comeback.

Of course, it gets awfully frustrating to work so hard to make progress like I did in 2013, and then have such a rough year like 2014. But even at the age of 60, I'm still an athlete and I've okay with facing such "injuries". And just like an athlete in their prime, it might be stressful to constantly be overcoming injuries, but then again, not nearly as stressful as sitting on the bench or being relegated to being just another spectator in the stands... when you know in your heart, that despite it all, you still belong on the field... that you can never settle for anything less than doing your best to get back in the game... :)

"Mind, body, green!"

On the surface, the concepts behind terms such as mind-body-green, raw food, natural living, holistic medicine, organic, non-gmo, etc. seem like nothing more than ideas that promote a healthy body. I certainly agree with the common-sense advice to eat wholesome food, exercise, etc. but I often see a very disturbing agenda behind such innocent façades...

In essence, the influence of so many "natural living" websites and magazines is antithetical to the Christian faith. Interspersed with solid and long-proven principles of nutrition and health there are often a conglomeration of pseudoscience, mysticism and downright-but-popular lies. There's an emphasis on a metaphysical approach, where anything Eastern is good and anything Western is bad. Commonly, there's often a paranoid conspiracy-theory slant on food, medicine, the pharmacy industry, etc.

Although, spiritual health is usually touted as an important aspect of wellness, you'll never hear a mention of the Holy Spirit. You'll see many quotes from Buddha, Ghandi, psychologists, etc. but not from Billy Graham or any other Christian leader. In the guise of promoting a healthy planet, you'll find numerous articles about saving the planet, but nothing about saving a soul. And it's quite illuminating how any mention of political/cultural issues usually tows the liberal line.

The idea of healing yourself with food, herbs, mindset, affirmations, etc. promotes the idea that you don't really have to trust in anything other than yourself. It makes it easier to believe that you possess all the "divinity" needed to be healthy and whole. Again, I'm a big fan of positive thinking and doing my part to address my health issues, but there's just no substitute for faith in God. And I'm talking about the God of the Bible, not the generic build-your-own-higher-power-however-you-want "God". Even though the authors might not be attacking Christianity directly, they never present it as an important component of a healthy life. Buddhism, Hinduism, or just about any New Age spiritual perspective get tons of attention, but the God of the Bible? Not a word...

I don't get the impression that this bias by omission and/or favor of other spiritual perspectives/faith is typically driven by malicious intent. My guess is that most of the "natural living" proponents just simply don't consider Christ or the Bible as anything important to healthy living. But from what I've seen, even the most avid follower of the suggested advice of these Eastern-influenced healthy living gurus, is clearly not healthy spiritually, when they don't live their lives with the Holy Spirit as the driving component of their daily regimen.

And I often see even devout Christians being drawn into this insidious attempt by the enemy to use such appealing (but deceptive and untruthful) concepts to promote the nutritional equivalent of the New Age movement. At best, it pulls a believer into a place where they're providing validation and support of an environment that is counter to a faith in God...and at worst, to give the enemy a foothold to attack your beliefs and to become complicit in supporting the lies of the enemy...

"We don't need no stinkin' REALISTIC goals!"

Happy Wednesday gang! How the heck are ya?! I really expected to get going much earlier, but that pesky sleep-cycle wouldn't cooperate! I got in a nice 20-mile bike ride last night and like so many of my rides, it was actually more about emotional, mental and even spiritual conditioning than it was about physical fitness. My fitness plan called for weight-training, but I knew I needed to be on the bike and sort out all of the churning going on inside...

After dropping over 90 pounds last year and competing in 2 time-trial races, I was really excited about the promise that 2014 held. I knew that the erratic nature of my medical stuff could derail even modest and realistic goals, but it seemed I had the upper hand enough to at least not lose ground. But here I am, quite a few pounds heavier than I was at this time last year. I had hoped to participate in at least a couple of time-trial races, but I've hardly even ridden my time-trial bike this year. The illness has been much more profound this year and I don't even know why...

So as I cruised along the familiar streets of my Mapleview course last night, I thought about what kind of goals I wanted to set for 2015. How disappointing it felt that none of my goals for 2014 worked out, especially since I had every bit of the same level of determination and persistence that fueled my big comeback of 2013. Then that little voice of "reason" started chiming in - insisting that THIS time I should listen!

"Jim, you need to set more "realistic" goals! Instead of shooting for such improbable things like racing in a time-trial, just try to get on the bike when you can. With an illness like yours, you can't be stressing over something that you're unlikely to achieve! Be reasonable, will ya?!"

Well, that voice of reason has a good point, however, that same logic is a dream killer. I'd rather learn how to cope with disappointment than to seek out a comfortable spot in the "safe" world of dead dreams. I'd rather be a rebel than be reasonable. I'd rather believe that my dreams are inspired by God and not constrained by the so-called wisdom of the world...

So, near the end of my ride I decided to frame things in a way that makes a statement - to myself. I decided that for 2015, one of my biggest goals - again - will be to race in at least two time-trials. And even though that seems far away and I still have to drop at least 20 pounds before I can even ride my time-trial bike, I decided that tonight's ride would be defined as my first training session for the 2015 Time-Trial season! How about that for elevating a ride of seemingly small importance to one that is the start of something big! Holy positive thinking, Jim!

I hope my fitness friends - or anyone - can benefit from my post. So often, I hear the advice to set realistic goals, but the catch with that is that if you're goals are constrained by a fear of disappointment rather than driven by the passion of taking on a challenge that excites you, your realistic goal might not be so realistic after all. The way I see it, is that you have to a goal that will require you to dig deep and tap into the best of who you are. Keep in mind, that even if a goal is improbable, that doesn't mean it isn't realistic. And when anyone suggests that you're just setting yourself up for disappointment, remind them that actually you're just trying to give yourself the best chance of success... :)

"Time to take a look under hood?"

As excited as I was to start a new Body-for-LIFE challenge a couple of weeks ago, I realized today that I haven't been doing it with my usual gung-ho enthusiasm and to a large extent, I've just been going through the motions. That's not a surprise since I knew it would take awhile to get my emotional energy back after such a draining rough spell of illness the last few months. But I know from experience it's best to just get going - and that eventually the momentum will develop and the excitement will come back.

It's only human nature that when you're going through a long spell of sickness or some other physical adversity that you might have to lower your expectations. Progress would be nice, but frankly you're just trying to hold on!

But when the storm passes and you finally get a chance to ramp things back up, there is usually some fallout mentally and emotionally to deal with. Perhaps, it's simply because it takes awhile to get your confidence back after a serious setback, but it still is crucial to address any insidious thinking or beliefs that might be holding you back.

In a nutshell, the "stinking thinking" that crept in was "What can I get away with and still have decent results?" and the "Maybe I'm still not physically or emotionally up to fully committing to my fitness program and as such I probably won't meet my goals for this challenge." Yikes! Not exactly the kind of thinking or beliefs necessary to feel excited or passionate about your fitness program!

Now, let me be clear - this has been under the surface stuff. I would have caught it right away if it was in the forefront of my thoughts. But it's the kind of insidious stuff that can slip in under the radar screen if you don't stop to take inventory of that churning or stress. It's under the surface, but it's still greatly affecting your focus and behavior. Unaddressed it tends to drive a person towards escapism and diversion, commonly resulting in eating and drinking behavior that ensures your fitness/weight-loss goals aren't going to happen!

Now that I've identified the issues, I'll deal with them. I feel so relieved and excited now! Shazam! I hope sharing my exercise in emotional/mental "homework" might be helpful to anyone dealing with similar issues. And of course, this kind of internal work also applies to any of life's issues. Keep on truckin', gang! :)

Throwback Thursday... "My one and only trophy..."

Spring 1973 - only a few months left of my Senior year. Southwest High School had been chosen as one of several schools to try out the new fitness program developed by Dr. Kenneth Cooper - "Aerobics". So in P.E. we started doing some intense endurance training on the track.

Periodically, we would test our aerobic fitness with an all-out 12-minute run. With asthma, it was often rough for me, but I liked the challenge. I was one of the slowest, but gradually worked up to being faster than everyone - except Sam. I kept pushing myself to the limit, often causing my coaches to be alarmed by my wheezing and coughing stuff up. Finally, after several weeks, I caught up to Sam and finished first - completing about 1.7 miles in 12-minutes.

Soon after that, the coaches called me into their office. Uh oh! But my main coach, who reminded me of the skipper on "Gilligan's Island", smiled... "Shelton, we don't give out awards here, but we're just so proud of how hard you worked this semester!" He then presented me with a trophy, inscribed with "Most Improved Athlete". I just couldn't have felt prouder! I'd already received my "award" - greatly improved fitness and lung function - but a trophy?! I'd never had a trophy before!

It was the only trophy I ever received, but it was oh so meaningful... For the first time, I felt that I could overcome my asthma enough to be an athlete. Those often torturous runs around the track set me on a path of making fitness a high priority...and made me realize that there was an internal strength far beyond what anyone would expect from the kid with such a gentle nature... :)

"A fitness program? With a chronic illness?!"

When it comes to starting an exercise/weight loss program, the typical approaches to get you motivated simply aren't adequate when you're fighting a chronic illness. For a reasonably healthy person, it gets you all fired up when you think about achieving your big goal - for example, dropping 30-50 lbs in the next several months.

But goals that require a consistent effort, just seem impossible when you can't even count on your body to be up to doing the basic tasks of everyday living. Even if you're confident that you can address any issues with eating, it's hard to believe that you'll be able to exercise consistently enough to ever reach even a modest goal...

For me, I had to find something more powerful to get me to fight through the illness to do a workout. In a nutshell, it's about empowerment. At the end of each day, if I did my workout and stayed on track with my food plan, I achieved my biggest goal - a sense of empowerment and at least for today, a little victory in my fight against the illness. I'm still excited about my longer term goals, but this daily goal is the one that makes me always feel my fitness program is worth the struggle, regardless of how things turn out with my long-term goals.

The long road back...

The first time I really started to think something was wrong was the summer of 1996. In 1994, at the age of 39, I took up bicycling as a serious fitness activity. By the end of 1995, 50-mile rides were almost routine for me. At 180 lbs, I was in the best shape of my life. My computer career had really taken off and I even joined the choir at my church. I had a great group of friends and we would frequently get together for barbecues, birthdays and pool parties and even go camping.  And finally, I felt I had recovered from my divorce in 1993. I really loved how my new life was coming together and was looking forward to finding someone to share it with...

But as the months went on, it became increasingly difficult to ride the bike. Clearly, my energy was fading. By the spring of 1997, I was barely riding the bike. Since I was being treated for a low thyroid condition, I suspected that might be the issue. Sure enough, the lab tests indicated I needed to increase the dosage on my thyroid med! I also decided to see an allergist and get better treatment for my asthma and allergies. I was excited to think that maybe I had a handle on my health issues and that I could finally get back to riding the bike! I did start feeling better, but there was still something obviously wrong. The next round of lab tests indicated my thyroid levels were now too high! What?! So my doc then lowered my thyroid dosage. That cycle would repeat itself for the rest of 1997 and into the spring of 1998. Eventually, my endocrinologist gave up, saying she simply didn't know why we couldn't get my thyroid condition under control. By the summer of 1998, I was up to an all-time high of 267 lbs and still not getting better. I was no longer riding the bike and now it was becoming a struggle just to show up for work...

I had been suggesting to my primary physician that I thought I should be checked for sleep apnea and he finally agreed. In July, I had a sleep study done and bingo! I not only had sleep apnea, but a very serious case - averaging 52 events(stopping breathing) per hour during the study! No wonder I was exhausted! I was thrilled to get a diagnosis and looked forward to getting on the CPAP machine and getting back on the bike. I made marked improvement over the next few months and felt confident enough in January 1999 to sign up to do the Leukemia Society's 100-mile bike ride in Santa Fe, New Mexico in May. I had a rough time staying with the training, but managed to get my weight down from 267 lbs to 233 lbs. I had to dig awfully deep just to finish the ride - 106 miles - but when I crossed the finish line I felt a huge sense of victory... maybe I'd finally conquered illness and could now get back to just living life...

But my health took another dive late in the summer of 1999. The fatigue was worse than ever. When I saw a new endocrinologist he concluded that it was simply due to taking a generic thyroid medicine instead of the name brand. Apparently, the generics could fluctuate from one manufacturer to the next. Wow! That made perfect sense! No wonder I couldn't get my levels stabilized in 1997! So he started me on the name brand stuff - Synthroid - and I quickly started planning my next comeback...

I certainly felt better on Synthroid, but as I rolled into the Spring of 2000,I still wasn't back to my old self - not even close. No one seemed to have any ideas so  I just tried to push through it. I did pretty well, enjoying a couple of camping trips and doing stuff with my brother Danny, who was living with me while he went to school. My weight was back up and of course my doctors kept insisting that I wasn't going to get my energy back as long as I was heavy. That sounded logical, but my instincts told me there was more to it than that...

In the fall of 2000, I noticed a lump on the left side of my neck. I thought nothing of it until it increased to about an inch in diameter. I had a biopsy done that was inconclusive, but my ENT doc said it had to come out. The surgery went well and the conclusion was that it was a benign tumor that she was sure was the cause of my fatigue. By the Spring of 2001, I was certainly feeling better so maybe that was it! Time to focus on getting the weight off and getting back on the bike! I did much better going forward, doing things like camping and even returning to my old hobby of flying radio-controlled sailplanes. But by the end of October, things started going south yet again...

By November, I was sicker than I had ever been. I had to go on short-term disability leave from work. Eventually, I was scared... it felt like I was dying... My primary doc insisted it was simply depression and insisted all I needed was to start taking an antidepressant. I had been suggesting for over a year that we check my pituitary gland but he refused, always reverting back to his depression assumption. But I found another doc who would check it and sure enough the tests confirmed what I suspected - complete pituitary failure! Finally, it was all starting to make sense! So I started on full hormone replacement and of course started getting excited about kicking off 2002 with my next comeback!

My excitement didn't last long... I kept waiting to get better but before long, I was back on disability. For all that Spring, I kept going back to work, then back on disability, trying to work, then back on disability. I gave it everything I had, but clearly wasn't able to do even the simple tasks in my computer job. I was finally let go in August. I spent the next couple of years trying to get answers but no one could explain why I was doing so poorly - when it was assumed that with full hormone replacement the pituitary issue wouldn't keep me from being able to function at an almost-normal level. By the summer of 2004, I had ballooned up to 330 lbs and could hardly even stand on my feet for more than a few minutes. My  endocrinologist didn't know what else to do, saying that he was sorry, but that this was probably as good as it was going to get... and that I needed to be realistic and just accept it...

In the fall of 2004, I received a new CPAP machine - one that had an automatic pressure sensor. I figured it might work better than the old one and sure enough it did! I felt such an improvement that I went to the bike shop and bought a hybrid bike! I was too heavy to hop on my old road bike but the hybrid worked like a champ. I was only able to go around the block, but the important thing was that I was back on the bike! That led to my big comeback of 2005. Along with the new CPAP, and better managing my hormone medications, I was able to begin working out consistently. By summer, I was back on my old road bike. Using the Body-for-LIFE program I dropped over 100 lbs! Clearly, THIS comeback was the real deal! Finally!

I had a rough time in the Spring of 2006, which was expected since it was allergy season, but I figured by summer I'd be back on track with my fitness program. But I kept waiting and I wasn't feeling better. My  endocrinologist again insisted he was doing everything that could be done and that I couldn't blame everything on medical issues. What?! He strongly suggested that I needed to see a psychiatrist or I wouldn't get better. The psychiatrist laughed at my doc's assumption, saying he knew what depression was and I didn't have it! He said he was amazed at how happy I was, considering that I had struggled with illness for so long. I figured it was time to get a new endocrinologist!

The new endocrinologist gave me a stunning assessment on our first visit. His theory was that maybe my pituitary gland was actually still functional, just mostly dormant. If that was the case, occasional activity from the pituitary gland would cause all sorts of erratic hormone levels making it impossible to get my levels dialed-in and explaining why I was still struggling so much! I was stunned by his theory, but it sure made sense! I then had a pituitary stimulation test done and son-of-gun my pituitary gland responded! Unbelievable! He then proposed that we try to restart the pituitary gland using a long process of slow withdrawal from the hormone medications. Although there was a slim chance that it would work he insisted that it was my only real chance to get better. So for the next few months, I gradually tapered down, hoping this would actually work.

The  specialist had warned me that tapering off of hormone medications such as Cortef - which is what was being used to maintain cortisol levels - could be as rough as withdrawing from heroin. I was skeptical of his warning until I started getting down to the lower doses. I felt exhausted and started experiencing anxiety, claustrophobia and sleep difficulties. Eventually, I reached my limit and increased my medicines back to the old levels.He was disappointed that I had aborted the withdrawal, but I just couldn't live like that. In the Spring of 2007, I figured I'd try the withdrawal process again, but by April, the side effects were so severe that one night I found myself so desperate that I called a suicide hotline. I wasn't suicidal or even close to it, but I was so anxious and emotionally being stretched that I really needed to talk to someone - now! - and since it was 3 in the morning, I couldn't call friend or knock on a neighbor's door! Anyway, I abandoned that withdrawal attempt as well and figured I'd just have to live with my greatly diminished health...

In January 2008, my doc suggested we try the withdrawal process one more time, but this time we would go much slower. The plan was that we would take a year instead of just 6 months and hopefully avoid the severe side effects that I experienced before. I figured I had to give it just one more try... After 6 months, I was encouraged because I wasn't having any severe side effects. Then in August, my doctor informed me that the lab tests indicated that my pituitary gland had restarted! Amazing! Miracles do happen! Now, I truly do have a new life!

For the rest of 2008, the focus was on continuing with the withdrawal process until I was completely off of all of the hormone meds. In the Spring of 2009, after being on full hormone replacement since 2001, I took my last dose of Cortef. Because it was allergy season, I wasn't surprised that I was still dragging. I figured by summer I'd  be back to riding the bike and feeling the full benefits from my restarted pituitary gland. But by April, I was as sick as I had been in years. It was the same flu-like symptoms and fatigue that I had been told all these years was because of the pituitary disorder! Apparently, that wasn't true! I was stunned! What the heck happened?! None of my docs had any idea and once again I decided I'd better put on my doctor hat and sort this out...

I had unexplained skin rashes that first appeared in 2001 and my dermatologist was never able to effectively treat them. They had been better in recent years, but were now back with a vengeance. I then started asking myself what condition similar to mine was treated with any of the meds I was taking for the pituitary issue and thus would flare up after withdrawal? After lots of research, I came across info on Celiac. I'd never even heard of the illness, but sure enough it  sounded like what I was going through! When I saw the part about Celiac causing skin rashes, I knew I was really on to something! Eventually, tests confirmed what Dr. Jim (me!) had diagnosed. I started on a gluten free diet and by the end of the summer I was rolling up miles on the bike like I hadn't since 1995...

The spring of 2010 was the usual downtime due to the allergy season, although it hit me harder than I expected. But by summer, the pollens were down and I was back to putting in long rides on the bike. I was still far from well, but by putting most everything else on the back burner I was able to do enough training to complete a 100-mile ride in October. Shazam! Now we're talking! I really looked forward to 2011, hoping I could take my fitness back to the high level it was in 1995. I still hadn't made it below 230 lbs, but that sure beat the heck out of 330 lbs in 2004! I wasn't surprised that I was derailed again by illness as the pollen season unfolded... this was pretty much standard procedure every year. It wasn't like what most people think of when they think of allergy issues. I had started every day since early 1996 with a significant level of sickness. Triggers such as gluten and pollens raised it to a profound level. The various medical conditions among the way certainly made things even more debilitating,  but even on my best days, I still was far from functioning at a normal level. My best time of year was usually August through October -  but in 2011, my good time of year never showed up.

I rode out the allergy season in 2012 mostly on the couch, but when summer arrived I once again didn't see my usual improvement. My thyroid disorder, Celiac, sleep apnea and asthma all seemed well under control so I just didn't understand why the underlying illness continued on at such a debilitating level. I then started to reassess my medical history and look for a common thread. Clearly, most all of my stuff over the years was driven by an underlying autoimmune condition - where the immune system attacks the body. My doctors pretty much agreed, but still had no answers as to why I still felt so sick much of the time. The general diagnosis was autoimmune-driven chronic fatigue, but no treatment was prescribed. Basically, I was told I'd just have to live with being sick and that compared to their other patients they thought I was doing extremely well! Small consolation!

I then figured that my best bet was simply to address the main triggers - gluten and pollens - with the goal of minimizing the flare-ups of the autoimmune condition. I had been getting allergy shots for months and made it a goal to stick with them. When the new year rolled around, I was determined that 2013 would be my big comeback year. Based on the previous 2 disappointing years, it took a lot of work and faith to get my confidence back. But I stayed with my fitness program and noticed right away that this allergy season wasn't derailing my exercise program. The best I could figure is that the allergy shots had finally provided the maximum benefit and that was helping keep the autoimmune condition at bay. I still felt sick every day, but at least it was workable. However, I had enough energy to do my daily workout, but not usually much more than that. So I pretty much put everything else on the back burner and made getting the weight off my top priority.

By November, I had dropped an amazing 90 lbs in 2013! I was thrilled to see things finally come together! I was even able to participate in a couple of time-trial bike races! Holy smokes, this was a whole new life! I got back a few pounds over the holidays, but started 2014 with tremendous excitement, anxious to get those few pounds off and within a few months finally be back at my normal weight. But I had an unexpectedly rough January and February with the daily sickness usually being at a profound level. I was still able to get in a workout here and there, but once again illness was starting to derail my big comeback. I had missed my monthly allergy shots last December and figured that maybe that was a key factor behind this rough spell. But I had been back on allergy shots for over a month now and wasn't getting better.

That's when I decided it was imperative that I at least see some other doctor with the hope that someone can help me. My instincts over the last couple of years have been telling me that something significant was being missed and that if I kept searching eventually some doctor along the way would have some answers. So that brings me to last week when I saw a new rheumatologist. I didn't expect him to come up with anything significant. I figured it was likely that he would also tell me I just have to live with it.

But within minutes after discussing my medical history and symptoms with him he said he knew what I had and he knew how to treat it! Holy smokes!  After more than 15 years of seeing doctors for this condition, this was the first time anyone ever provided a specific diagnosis! He prescribed a medication that had proven to be effective for my condition - a variation of chronic fatigue syndrome that occurs in some people with autoimmune conditions. I was skeptical yet optimistic. But the first day on the new med was extremely encouraging. Within a couple of hours the medication cut through the profound sickness and it felt like a huge burden was being lifted off my body. The last several days have been just as good and this is clearly looking like a big breakthrough!

Only time will tell how this plays out - whether this medication helps me long-term - but the most important thing is that I finally have a diagnosis of the underlying condition that has been there since this journey began... way back in the summer of '96...

 

"Just this once..."

"Just this once - and I'll get back on track tomorrow..."

One of the things that derails so many fitness/weight-loss programs is the "Just this once" syndrome. Even though you're committed to establishing new habits, the old habits are still "installed" for awhile. As such, when a trigger such as stress shows up, it almost seems impossible to resist the impulse. Your brain even tries to convince you it's not just an impulse, but a genuine need. So to alleviate the stress of fighting against such a powerful impulse, it just seems easier to give in just this once... and get back on track tomorrow...

But what's the real truth? By giving in, you've effectively made a decision to abandon your goals and go back to the old lifestyle that ironically caused you so much pain... Of course, it doesn't SEEM that this one exception will really hurt, but think about it. Ask yourself if you're okay with regaining all of the weight TOMORROW! Absurd you say? Well, in a nutshell, lowering your standard has pretty much determined the destination, all we're really arguing about is how long it will take to get there...

I say it's best to offset the perceived short-term pleasure of engorging on chocolate, or pizza, or whatever by making it a point to feel the pain NOW of what it will be like to return to that dreaded overweight and out-of-shape body. Over time, the new habit will be installed and the impulses of the bad habits will fade. When you have true clarity over the consequence of that destructive temptation, maybe it won't be so tempting after all... :)

Starting a new Body-for-LIFE challenge!

Happy Monday gang! Woke up at 9:40 which is right around my target time - looks like my sleep-cycle shift is gonna stick! Anyway, I spent some time this morning evaluating my Body-for-LIFE program. I decided to start a new 12-week challenge today. I had completed 4 weeks on the other challenge, but with the illness and topsy-turvy sleep-cycle dominating everything I was struggling and mostly just going through the motions. I dropped 11 lbs the first 2 weeks then got half of that back the next 2 weeks! Ouch!

I would usually just stay the course with the current challenge, but I just couldn't get excited about the idea of scrambling the next 8 weeks to try to make up for the disappointing first 4 weeks. Besides, I'm physically doing much better now after being back on the allergy shots for awhile and my sleep-cycle is now back to a more workable schedule. And just as important is that I'm more empowered emotionally and mentally to get back to making great progress on a consistent basis. I spent a lot of time last night doing the mental and emotional "homework" necessary to come to terms with the issues that were interfering with my progress.

Heck, much of that was simply validating that the main culprit was an unusually rough spell with the illness. With the topsy-turvy sleep-cycle and the sickness being elevated it was hard to believe I could make any significant progress. And when you start doubting if you can make progress, then the food plan slips too...

Anyway, I'm thrilled to get rolling on Day 1 of my new 2014 Body-for-LIFE challenge and I'm confident I'm going to have a great run of progress, just like I did in 2013. Thanks guys for always cheering me on...

Go ahead...make my day!

Happy Monday gang! How the heck are ya?! This is week 2 of my Body-for-LIFE challenge and I've been doing an assessment of where I am and where I want to go - not just with my fitness program, but life in general. Frankly, I've noticed some things that I need to treat as red flags that could easily sneak in under the radar screen...

I've felt so cruddy most of the time the last few weeks that it tamped down my expectations for my fitness program and pretty much everything else. I didn't lose my optimism or commitment to my goals - I simply didn't feel up to doing much of anything. And feeling that overwhelmed by sickness made it seem unlikely that my ambitious goals could be achieved - losing weight, racing in the time-trials, conquering my household, writing my book, having more of a social life, etc...

It's only human nature under such conditions to back off on your original goals and simply just focus on getting through the day. And I'm sure most people would understand if I said "This just isn't realistic with the constant illness! Geez!" and backed off on my big plans for 2014. My body sure seems like it would be okay if I stopped pushing it when it doesn't feel so hot! And I have to admit, I've been in more of a just-going-through-the-motions kind of state lately rather than my usual excited-about-my-BFL-program state.

But today I reasserted who I am and who I MUST be! I wish I didn't have constant illness to deal with - but it's here and I'll be (insert cuss word!) if I'll throw in the towel or settle for being anything less than passionate about life! Yes, it's a lot harder with a chronic illness, but I didn't come this far to back off now... It does require me to be a fighter, but geez, I've always been a fighter! So I guess I'm right where I belong! Instead of trying to hang on the ropes and hope I don't take too many punches, I'd rather see if I can land a few myself and win the round! Nuff said!

I hope my little revelation of how I'm approaching this latest temptation to "just take it easy" and thus settle for being stuck in a "comfort zone" helps you take inventory and determine if maybe it's time for you to get back in the ring... :)