Jim's Place

Lacing up the gloves...

Happy Friday, gang! Hope you've got a nice weekend planned. I've been enjoying a day off from doctor appointments. I so appreciate your outpouring of support in response to my posts yesterday. There weren't actually any new developments on the medical front, but it's the first time any doctor has said my melanoma was at Stage 4. But that was the case even before the brain surgery in April. Still, it is quite alarming to hear that. The main revelation from yesterday's appointment was the clarification of the purpose of each proposed cancer treatment and the realization that I would need more than just radiation to the brain and leg - possibly chemotherapy.

I appreciate the concern for my mental and emotional well-being in light of the seriousness of all of this, but I'm still my usual happy-camper self. Most of that is due to my faith in God, but also because after so many years of dealing with chronic illness, I've come to terms with the possibility that my health issues could take a sudden downturn and my time on Earth would be quickly coming to an end...

But that's a reality everyone faces - from a car accident to a Texas tornado, there's no guarantee that any of us will be here tomorrow. Of course, I have serious concerns about coping with a life-threatening disease that I'm repeatedly told is incurable, but I just refuse to pay any more of an emotional and mental price than I'm forced to. Just as I have since I was a kid, the first thing I'm going to ask myself when I wake up is "How can I make the most of today?"

Rather than define this battle with cancer as a burden, I view it as a challenge. Rather than be consumed with worry and fear, I'm driven by faith and determination. But as confident as I feel, I'm still approaching this with respectful humility, never forgetting that so many have fought similar battles with incredible courage and determination - but yet they didn't survive...

Of course, I wish I could just get on with life and not have to deal with this, but I still believe that God has a purpose for all of the long-suffering... that it is far too early to write my memoirs or begin formulating a eulogy... I'm ready to step back into the ring - and I don't plan on just making a token appearance. If necessary, I'll hang on the ropes a bit, but then I'm coming out swinging. I'm in it to win it. And God willing, I most definitely will!

A Christian nation?

I think even an amateur historian would find indisputable evidence that America was founded on Christian and Biblical principles. A truly tolerant non-believer would accept that reality and not raise hell about the various Christian symbols, traditions and influences that are ingrained throughout the American system of governance.

To remove all vestiges of Christianity from the state would rip the heart out of what has made America the most enduring and shining opportunity for freedom, liberty and prosperity in human history. Instead of the utopia that atheists suggest it would create, the truth is that it would be hell for everyone - even those who don't believe in heaven or hell.

Happy Talk

Boo! I just woke up - at 10:30pm! I'd better hurry up if I'm going to squeeze in my plans for Wednesday before Thursday! Despite the unexpectedly late start, I'm actually quite jazzed. I feel better than I have in weeks and I'll have a lot of daylight tomorrow to work with. I haven't even been out in the daylight this month, so that's big-time progress!

Anyway, this last few weeks has been awfully trying, but am I gonna let it dishearten me? Nope! Am I going to back off of my dreams or concede to that voice that's trying to convince me that this is as good as it gets? No way in hell! I'm taking every doubt, every fear and every frustration and using them to fuel the flame of determination until it becomes a raging bonfire!

Yes, all of this has rattled me, but despite the illness doing such a number on my body, I still have the option to make the best of it. It's disturbing to see my weight up and disappointing that I haven't been able to ride the bike even half as much as last year. But rather than feed that little monster of defeat by counting my losses I'm counting my countless blessings...and looking forward to the time when I've sailed through this storm into calmer waters...

I'm dreaming of that moment in the not too distant future... When I'm back on my bike, riding along the San Diego coastline. I'll have recovered from 2014 and be in the best shape of my life. I'll feel such a sense of victory, because I finally got the breakthrough on the illness I had been praying for. And I'll feel so blessed that after all of those years of being by myself, that when I go home today, I finally have someone to go home to... What a dream, huh? But who's to say that today's dream can't become tomorrow's reality?

I often think of the movie "South Pacific" and the lyrics of "Happy Talk" - "You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?"

Bingo! :)

"Life is a game!"

Happy Monday guys! Hope your week is off to a good start and that today feels more like a blessing than a burden. I was quite surprised that when I woke up it was after 2:30 in the afternoon! Geez, my sleep cycle has been topsy-turvy lately ,but I have no idea why I needed over 10 hours sleep - especially since I took it easy yesterday! My guess is that it's related to the rain moving in, since I have a high sensitivity to mold spores - but Hell-if-I-know! And yes, that is a word!  ;)

I had planned to take care of some important personal stuff and do a 20+ mile bike ride, but after waking up so late I had to downsize my expectations. I'm so used to the uncertainty of my body, that you'd think it'd be silly to even make plans for the next day. Rather than the somewhat active day I'd hoped for, today is looking like my normal day - trying to shake off the usual run-over-by-a-truck feeling, while feeling like I'm in a perpetual game of "Sorry"...and once again somebody landed on me, sending me back to "Start"...

Funny, but I chuckle when I hear "Life is a game!". My often restless sleep is like a game of "Twister". My doctor visits are all about "Risk". And my love life has pretty much been an "Uno" marathon... (Ouch!). With that kind of track record, I probably shouldn't head to Vegas or try to make a living as a day trader. But at least from a fitness perspective, I've been dealt quite a few winning hands, lately. But that's not because I bet on the odds, but rather that I bet on myself - and the tried and true Body-for-Life program... :)

Good day to rest

Happy Sunday, gang! Hope you're enjoying your day! Me? I'm awfully busy doing a whole lot of nothing! ;) Actually, when I woke up it was clear that the best thing for me to do today is rest. This past week was quite taxing (hope I get a refund! ;). It feels like I kicked the virus and I'm looking forward to a another week of progress with my Body-for-Life journey. You'd think that after 6 months straight, I'd be anxious to take a break from exercise. But I'm as enthused today as I was when I started Jan 7th! And besides, who wants to take a break from getting your life and your fitness back?! Duh!

This is about so much more than losing weight. I still haven't had even a moment in many years where I didn't feel a significant level of sickness, BUT it's much better than before - and I'm convinced that not only am I on my way to a slimmer body, but also a hard-fought victory... that my prayers - and yours - are bearing fruit... that finally my wellness will be restored... :)