With a chronic fatigue condition, you can't use the usual approaches to exercise. Typically, with normal health, you don't work out when you feel sick. Common sense says you just wait until you're feeling better. Sounds reasonable!
But what if you are always sick? Day in, day out, year after year? Do you just forget about being an athlete again? Do you just settle for being fat and out-of-shape? Do you just accept the conventional wisdom that suggests your days as an athlete are over? And even if you manage to get in a workout here and there, can you ever expect to achieve a high level of fitness again? Especially considering that with a chronic illness, serious setbacks are almost inevitable and are very likely to occur quite frequently. Why set yourself up for all of that frustration? No one would blame you if you just parked it on the couch and took it easy... Time to just sit in the stands and enjoy being a spectator...
For the last 15+ years, the harsh reality has been that if I'm going to exercise at all, I'm going to have to push through a significant level of illness and/or fatigue. The question isn't if I'm sick, but rather if it's at a "workable" level. Sometimes, it's mild, but often it's at a profound level, with my body screaming "No way!" It's been a careful balancing act, using mostly instinct to determine how much I can get away with pushing against what my body is telling me. Fortunately, those same instincts that had so many times pushed me to work out when it seemed impossible were screaming this time "Don't do it!" They were right. It could have been dangerous with such low thyroid levels.
I'm sure to some people, constantly fighting the odds to pursue a high level of fitness, while dealing with an overwhelming and erratic chronic illness, seems rather futile and just adds undue stress to an already chaotic situation. Granted, sometimes it does seem like I'm trapped in a perpetual Whack-A-Mole arcade game at Chuck E. Cheese - and every time I pop up - make a big comeback - that same angry kid smashes me with the mallet yet again! I keep thinking this bully will give it a rest, but he just seems to have an endless supply of tokens...
Friday I added fibromyalgia to my medical "portfolio" and today I learned that I have a severely low thyroid level. Although I have a low thyroid disorder - hypothyroidism - I've had it monitored frequently and take my medication every day. But the TSH result of 42 means my levels were extremely low. That explains why I've been so sick, but I still have no idea what caused such a dramatic change in my thyroid condition. Anyway, I start on new meds tomorrow to address these issues and I'm looking forward to yet another big comeback.
Of course, it gets awfully frustrating to work so hard to make progress like I did in 2013, and then have such a rough year like 2014. But even at the age of 60, I'm still an athlete and I've okay with facing such "injuries". And just like an athlete in their prime, it might be stressful to constantly be overcoming injuries, but then again, not nearly as stressful as sitting on the bench or being relegated to being just another spectator in the stands... when you know in your heart, that despite it all, you still belong on the field... that you can never settle for anything less than doing your best to get back in the game... :)
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