Jim's Place

My own little world

Some people need to understand that the reason you live in your own little world is because your body won't let you live in theirs...

Still just as ambitious...

The world in general doesn't respect your valiant efforts against an invisible illness. While they might not view you as a failure, they're unlikely to view you as a success - even if you're fighting harder than you ever did in your past career...when they marveled at your ambition and talent.

Right, as if I picked THIS illness...

The next time I decide to be sick, I owe it to my friends and family to pick an illness that is much more visible and easier to understand! ;)

"I'm happy for you, but..."

There's an inherent pain in talking with someone with normal health. While you might feel happy about the life they're living, it's a harsh reminder of the life you're NOT living...

A day off

It'd be nice to have a day off - from having to be brave...

A key reason I live in San Diego

Happy Wednesday gang! Greetings from a sunny and quite toasty Santee! It's 96 degrees or as we used to say when I lived in Texas "A bit warm..." I miss my family being way out here on the West coast, but yesterday I was reminded of a key difference for me between living in San Diego and Fort Worth - the humidity. It's usually dry here, but we've had a few days of humidity. Although my asthma is the best it's ever been, I had to use my inhaler a few times yesterday.

Growing up in Fort Worth, my asthma was at times quite a significant problem. I'll never forget the one time when I was about 11... I was wheezing so bad, that I had to stay home from school. Mom was afraid to leave me alone, but I insisted she go to work. She needed every dollar trying to raise four boys on a secretary's salary. But I laid on the couch, trying not to panic, because it felt like I was slowly suffocating...

Of course, asthma greatly hindered my ability to participate in athletic sports. Despite my Mom's concern, I signed up for football in the 8th grade. I tried to hide my asthma from the coaches because I knew I'd be kicked off the team. One time during wind sprints, I had an asthma attack and had to stop. Coach yelled at me "No slacking, Shelton!" I struggled through practices and actually got to play in the first game, but I broke my ankle. That was pretty much the end of my football "career"...

However, I did eventually play intramural football in high school and junior college, having a lot of success as quarterback. In my senior year in high school, I fought so hard on the track to overcome my asthma that my P.E. coaches presented me with a trophy for "Most Improved Athlete". That meant the world to me...

Even in my 20s, asthma continued to be a nemesis, leading to pneumonia three times and a long stay in the hospital at the age of 22. Clearly, I hadn't outgrown the asthma as I had hoped...

So maybe there was some divine intervention that led me to San Diego in 1980. From the much-more-asthma-friendly climate to better treatment of the asthma - and discovery of Celiac, which clearly made it worse, my asthma is better than it's ever been. And when I first started riding the bike "seriously" in 1994, I finally had the chance, at the age of 40, to be that athlete I so desperately wanted to be as a kid.

No doubt, the frustrations in childhood from coping with asthma have been a key source of motivation, helping fuel the fire for all of my numerous comebacks. At 58, that was long ago, but yet that kid is just as alive now as he was then. And he's breathing better than he ever has! Perhaps, there's an important lesson in all of this - even for those who never had asthma - that it's never too late to have a second childhood...or a first one..  :)

Exhaustion

A person with normal health might feel exhausted at the end of the day, but for many with a chronic illness, that's how you feel when you wake up...

Are you at risk?!

Something tells me that chronic health increases the risk of chronic ignorance.

Square one...

Everybody has to start over at times...but with a chronic illness you have to start every day back at square one...

A heavy burden...

The world in general has no idea that with a chronic illness you always feel a heavy burden on your body - even on your "good" days...and it's the kind of burden people with normal health never experience, even when they have something like the flu.