Jim's Place

My latest article for the PNA

The Summer of 1998... Finally, a breakthrough...

After such a rough spring, I began looking forward to the warmer weather of summer...  Although the allergy shots did seem to help, I almost always had a sinus infection, cold or some kind of bug.  Some people suggested that I start taking various herbs and supplements.  Others suggested meditation, yoga, detoxification and various other new age remedies...  It wasn't long before I found myself taking a handful of vitamins and supplements every morning.  But after several weeks, I doubted that they would bring the magic they promised. And then the situation started getting quite serious...

Often at work and driving home I would get drowsy…almost having an accident many times.  It didn't make sense to me.  I used to be able to sleep for 7 hours and be just fine, but in recent months I still felt tired even after 8 to 10 hours of sleep. Soon my daily routine included taking caffeine pills just before leaving work and then crashing on the couch for two hours when I got home.

I did the best I could to hang on to my job with most of my free time being used trying to recover from the relentless exhaustion. I began missing a lot of work and dropping even more of my usual activities. Eventually, my main social event was the occasional trip out to the Jacuzzi at my condominium complex.  I always made the most of that time, visiting with my friends and neighbors.  On the surface, they saw the same old Jim... that cheerful, funny guy with the positive outlook...an easy-going man with a child-like heart... And there was no doubt that I was still pretty much a happy camper. I was quite grateful for all the good things in my life.  Despite the overwhelming issues with my health, I felt very fortunate to have a high-paying computer job, own my own condo and a great group of friends... And I couldn’t deny that as a result of facing the adversities of the last few years, I had grown emotionally and spiritually and gained a great deal of wisdom that I couldn't get any other way...

I spent countless nights relaxing in that Jacuzzi...enjoying my sports bottle full of rum and Diet Coke, listening to my favorite songs on my fancy water-resistant portable stereo... However, I never lost sight of the truth…that I desired to have so much more... Despite being over 250 pounds now, I was still an athlete at heart…And I refused to stop believing that someday I would be able to get back to being the 'real' Jim... to find the right woman to share my life with… hopping on my bike every day at the break of dawn...and once again, riding like the wind…

My endocrinologist decided that perhaps I should get checked for a sleep disorder. She scheduled me for a sleep study for July. While the technician prepared me for the test, I thought it all seemed like such overkill...electrodes attached all over my body...an elastic belt around my chest...wires running everywhere... You would have thought that I was being evaluated by NASA to be an astronaut!

It was a very rough night trying to sleep...an uncomfortable bed with someone watching me while trying to deal with all those wires!!! But as groggy as I was the next morning, what I learned opened my eyes wide. I sat half-awake in a chair as I was slowly set free - each electrode being yanked from my body...

"Well, did the test indicate any problems?", I casually asked the technician, not expecting that anything significantly wrong had showed up... "Well, Mr. Shelton, it's up to your doctor to analyze the results...but I can tell you this... if you happened to look up the definition of severe sleep apnea in the dictionary, your name would be right next to it..."

I WAS STUNNED! I started peppering him with questions about what my test results meant. He told me that I averaged 52 events an hour...Wow! I had stopped breathing an average of 52 times each hour! He added that I didn't have even one minute of deep sleep the whole night! He compassionately expressed his regrets that I had such a serious disorder…but I was actually jazzed! Finally, I thought...a real breakthrough!

I got dressed, put my stuff in the car and walked across the parking lot to a restaurant that was known for serving great breakfasts. As tired as I was, I couldn't have been more wound up...or giddy. While enjoying a great omelette, I saw the sun just beginning to rise...  I shed a tear as I felt a ray of hope for the first time in a very long, long time... I had never expected an easy way through this life - even a rough road was OK as long as it was the right road...

Could it be that sleep apnea was THE issue that had plagued me for so long? It certainly made sense! I cautiously began to get excited about what this might mean. Perhaps, I could finally start down that road to get my health and my life back...to rebuild my body...to finally return to being the real me... Of course, I had gained enough wisdom to realize that I might yet again be disappointed. But I had always been a dreamer...and I wasn't going to stop now… I grinned as I realized that finally...finally...it was time for my next big comeback...

An update on my medical situation...

I wanted to give you an update on my medical situation...  As I mentioned in recent posts, I've had a heck of a time with sleep problems the last few weeks.  However, I've been able to finally see my doctors and get an idea of what might be causing all of the problems.  I saw my sleep specialist yesterday to assess if I'm having trouble with my sleep apnea and to determine what to do about my topsy-turvy sleep cycle.  The results from an oximetry test seemed to indicate that the CPAP machine that I use at night to keep my airways open is doing its job.  Although he had no explanation for what might have caused my sleep cycle to get so crazy, he's confident that we can correct it with proper treatment. Basically, that means only going to sleep when I'm very tired, which lately doesn't happen until about 7 or 8 AM and going through light therapy every morning from 8-10 AM...  And even if I'm up all night, I'm not allowed to go to bed until at least 10 PM each night.  This will require me purchasing a light box and sitting in front of it every morning for 2 hours.  The idea is that the light will correct the circadian rhythm in the brain...  He said it's likely to be very rough on me for the first week or so but he's confident that it will work...

And then today, I met with my endocrinologist to discuss where to go with treating my hormonal disorder (pituitary failure)... He really surprised me when he told me that he agreed with the assessment from the specialist I saw at UCLA.  That doctor concluded that I NEVER really had pituitary failure and that it was an induced condition from steroids I was taking for my asthma in 1996!!!  He said that would explain why I have had so much difficulty managing this disorder the last several years.  So next week, he will perform a test to determine if in fact my pituitary gland is still working.  If it comes back positive, it will mean that I have been treated for a condition the last five years that I never even had...  If that is the case, we will then start the long process of withdrawing from some of the hormone medications that I've been taking... That process will take several months and will likely be rough at times.  The idea is that when the body goes through hormonal deficiencies because of the reduced medications, that it may restart the adrenal, pituitary and other glands that have shut down as a result of taking the relevant hormones.  There's no guarantee that the condition can be reversed, but I'm anxious to give it a try if the test indicates that's what needs to be done...

Although it seems quite overwhelming to deal with it all, I feel quite encouraged.  I've felt for years that something wasn't right, that the doctors were missing something important.  All I was told, was that treating pituitary failure was not that big of a deal and I would be able to be fully functional before too long.  But year after year, it has continued to be a daily struggle and I just couldn't understand why.  So at least this latest development gives me confidence that we are on a path to get at the root of the problem...  There is also a suspicion that I may have an underlying neurological disorder so they will be looking at that as well...

Although the next couple of weeks will be tough - trying to correct my sleep cycle - I'm planning on starting a new challenge a week from Monday.  I don't expect to be well or fully functional by then at all...  But if I can just be a little functional, I will find a way to get back on track and stick to my BFL program...

Thanks for listening, and wish me luck!

Checking in...

As I mentioned in earlier posts, I have been having a heck of a time with severe sleep problems the last several weeks...unable to get to sleep before 5AM and then having a hard time sleeping once I do manage to fall asleep. The result has been that I'm very tired all the time...and haven't even felt close to working out.

However, things have gotten a little better the last few days. Many of you know that I have a hormonal disorder - pituitary failure - and as a result I take all the hormones your body would normally produce on its own (thyroid, cortisol, testosterone, growth hormone). Since my sleep problems the last few months seem to always start about a week after I resume working out, I wondered if my testosterone dosage might be the issue...

My understanding is that your body will use testosterone to build muscle (for men that is!) in response to intense BFL workouts so I increased my dosage last Wednesday. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but since then my sleep situation has greatly improved! It is still WAY out of whack, BUT at least I'm able now to get some sleep and feel somewhat rested!

I see my doctor Thursday and will discuss my theory with him. Hopefully, we'll be able to get this under control so I can get back to my BFL lifestyle!

Not to be dramatic but this latest episode has pushed me to the limit emotionally and physically... It's taken everything I have to keep my spirits up and hang on... But I will NEVER give up and I KNOW that at some point I'll cross this latest abyss and be excited about finally making great progress again...

Thanks for listening and all your support...